–by Sarah Hage
Monsanto Gardens is thrilled to announce that its parent company (Monsanto) is very close to patenting a pig. They also want to patent the pig gene that makes some pigs fatter than others (re Pigoons in Oryx and Crake).
Watch this video for more info:
This is great news for us at Monsanto Gardens, because patents on Laughing Pig Flowers, Pignome, Bumble Pig, Pigplant, Pigmatoes, Pigtatoes are soon to follow! First come plants (we own most of the seeds in the world); then come pigs. We are perfectly poised to control the world’s food supply. What’s so cool is that all that we have to do is call “dibs” on DNA to call it ours. And then we twist, turn, and recombine genomes any way we please. It’s all good, clean fun and Perfectly Safe! Check with our friends at the FDA. They agree. Heck, we may be able to patent all art with pigs in it. Think of the profits for our shareholders!
What’s coming down the chute at Monsanto Gardens? We’re in the process of dishing up some Pork-eyed Peas next. Stay tuned.